David’s Big Bus & Shopping Adventure
Today, mummy took me for a ride on the bus to the shops. Mummy said we had to leave at 10 o’clock because the bus came at 6 minutes past. Actually, it didn’t. It came at 8 minutes past but this was OK.
We got on the bus and paid with our bus passes and then sat down in some seats designed for children. They were obviously for children as they were so narrow and had so little leg room. The bus had lots of large fat wobbly smelly people on it but this was OK because we were off to Hastings and the shops.
But that’s not where it went. It went all over St Leonards and Hastings, stopping every 10 seconds to pick up even more large fat wobbly smelly people. This was OK though, because after a VERY LONG TIME we got to Hastings.
Mummy said we would go to the bank first to pay in some money. I had a nice comfy seat whilst mummy joined a big queue of large fat smelly wobbly people. I asked mummy why she didn’t pay in using a thing called ‘Quick Deposit’ ‘cos it said on the envelope we could. Mummy said though that it didn’t work, even though we were in NatWest which is exactly the same bank as RBS. So mummy and I waited a VERY LONG TIME and eventually paid in her money.
Next, we went to a big shop called Argos, which had LOADS of large fat smelly wobbly people, some of them on wheels. Mummy was clever though ‘cos she bypassed the queue and went straight to a computer terminal which told her the things she wanted were in stock. Instead of paying for her things right there with her credit card, like I would have at home, mummy then went and joined the queue with LOADS of large fat smelly wobbly people some of them on wheels and waited a VERY LONG TIME to get to the nice lady at the counter.
The nice lady at the counter also had a computer terminal but unfortunately, hers had a different price to the prices in the catalogue. So mummy and the nice lady had to go through LOTS of pages in the catalogue and eventually showed the very nice lady that her computer terminal was wrong. Mummy then paid but then had to join another queue and wait a VERY LONG TIME for her stuff. This was strange, ‘cos we could see her stuff on the shelf behind another very nice lady but this very nice lady was filling up carrier bags and this was obviously more important. I didn’t tell mummy but I thought that the very nice ladies might have been, as daddy says sometimes, ‘pissed off’ because mummy had proved their computer to be wrong.
Next we went to a shop called the Card Shop. I didn’t go in this one myself as there were so many large fat smelly wobbly people in there, I didn’t think I’d fit. Mummy went in, found some cards and then waited for a VERY LONG TIME in a queue of LOADS of large fat smelly wobbly people ‘cos there were only two tills and two people serving and they didn’t give a stuff how long it took!
Next we went to a shop called Thimbilina’s or something like that. Mummy bought a zip. There was no queue. Boring.
Next we went to get our bus home. It left just before we got to the bus stop but mummy said it didn’t matter as we could catch it up just around the corner. So we went to a place called Havelock Road and sure enough, about ten minutes later the same bus turned up! Apparently it likes to go round and round the town centre before it actually goes anywhere. Anyway, we waited at the bus stop with LOADS of large fat wobbly smelly people, some with wheels and lots with sticks.
The bus people must be a bit funny ‘cos the bus shelter only holds about 10 people but because LOADS of buses stop there, there were LOADS of large fat smelly wobbly people waiting all over the place in the cold!
The bus company must have known this too ‘cos they sent 3 buses all at the same time. Ours was right at the back and we had to walk up the road to get on and our bus had it’s bottom stuck right out into the road. Some of the taxi drivers were so pleased, they were playing tunes on their car horns.
Anyway, we got on the bus with LOADS of large fat smelly wobbly people, travelled all over Hastings & St Leonards again and after a VERY LONG TIME, got home.
Then we had salmon salad for lunch.
The end.
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