Why oh why oh why oh why do we now have to submit to a survey any time we buy something, look at a website, walk through the town centre or even just bl**dy inhale?
'Thank you for your recent online purchase of a box of matches. Could you please spare us a few minutes to tell us of your shopping experience? Could you please rate the quality of the matches on a scale of 1 to 10?'
NO I CAN'T. Go away!
If, however, you're bored, fill one in but give them zero marks for absolutely everything... Rubbish website, cobblers product, useless online help, zero satisfaction, no I won't recommend you to anyone - see what happens! I'll tell you what happens... zip, zilch, na-da, nowt whatsoever - because nobody ever reads the damn things.
And have you tried walking through any town centre recently? 'Could you spare us a few moments to answer a few questions on a survey regarding frog leg soup?' Go away! It's bad enough dodging the dog poo, cyclists riding on the pavements, skateboarders jumping 2 inches in the air before falling off, idiots walking blindly behind umbrellas, drunks and beggars and scaffold lorries parked anywhere they like, without warding off these guys as well.
So you go home to do some surfing on the internet, load up your favourite website and 'bang', there's a socking great box asking you to do a survey on the quality of the website because your opinion is important to them. No it isn't! Someone somewhere gets to say '2,000 people clicked on our survey box'. Yes of course they did, they clicked on the 'X' to get rid of it - which may or may not work. Scrolling down doesn't because the bl**dy thing just follows you down the page.
IT MAKES ME SO MAD! When I rule the world, any company that commissions a survey will be forced to give everything in their warehouse to charity. Telephones will have a special button so if someone calls you at 7pm whilst in the middle of your din-dins, to ask how satisfied you are with your broadband, you can press it and send 10,000 volts up the line and frazzle their naughty bits.
Things are going to change when I rule the world, oh yes!
No comments:
Post a Comment